This project is basically a snapshot of my life over the past couple years that somewhat unintentionally is simultaneously the vaguest and most explicit look into my head that I think I could conceptualise. ‘Neily land’ is a collection of paintings, poetry, digital art and random writings I made over about a 2 year period that goes through my experiences and mental states through this time which also incidentally covers my coming out and early transition.

Nelly is standing in front of a small audience, holding up two grayscale abstract paintings.

The artistic works portrayed in this project are incredibly abstract and mainly compose of what I interpret as distorted faces, impossible scenarios and general chaos but I’ve been told by people that have seen them that they could be anything because of their abstract nature. This imagery captures a snapshot of what was currently going on in my life at the time of their creation, these pieces are contrasted with quotes from my diary / personal anecdotes to create this chaotic back and forth that I feel helps to sell the atmosphere and energy of the collection.

I’ll be honest, I create most of my art when I am in a low mental state as a positive coping mechanism, I feel that by incorporating these two incredibly contrasting ways of showing information both blatant and conceptual that I kind of force the viewer to confront these negative emotions without a filter. Negative thoughts are not something to be shunned and ignored and I hope that with this project I can encourage others to be more open with their emotions, honestly I wish I was but I suppose this is kind of my way of doing just that.

Nelly's final painting on an easel. It is a white board with abstract black pallet knife strokes, concentrated at the top and becoming more sparse towards the bottom.

I created a video containing works from the project with narration for the Shaper/Caper presentation alongside a live canvas painting to finish this collection off. I promised myself that the artwork created would be the last piece in this project and I’m sticking to that. I am currently trying to create a book that collates all of this together that I’ll hopefully have printed at some point in the future.

I feel I was becoming lost in my own head with this project so I’m somewhat happy to be done with it, it feels like the right time to turn a new page and start a new chapter both personally and creatively, whatever that means anyway.

Watch this space x

Nelly Connor is a trans multimedia artist currently based in Aberdeen, Scotland. Her art primarily focuses on the visual examination and deconstruction of her own mental health and psyche, an uncompromised look at one's experience as a trans woman in the information age.

Nelly Connor: Nelly Land | BRAW Bursary